curiosity

Curiosity kills the cat me….

My heart stops.

I’m dead.

I am was not jealous.

Now? I ain’t sure anymore.

 

 

I will no longer ask . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . anything.

.LOVEout

thinking of him

Missing him every now and then.

Am wondering what he is doing right now.

 

.LOVEout

time flies

October went by, and November came in.

After completing this month, finally I’m done with my probation. YAY!

Salary raise? – yet to confirm
Annual leave to spend? – 7days
Year end bonus? – hope to receive at least one month’s

I need a list of things to do. hmmm……..

.LOVEout

black out

I spent my past weekend at home.

On the day before I drove back to my working place, I took an afternoon nap. Just to make sure my battery is fully charged up before I begin my ride.

Like always, I would stuff something into my mouth; 2cups of cold creamy yoghurt and a plate full of spooned-out-watermelon. *ermph* Delicious.

Upon waking up, I sat up and stared blankly on the tv screen. I was sweating all over. The weather was hot. It is always hot. And stuffy. Suddenly, there was this little typhoon inside my stomach. Followed with an earth quake. So I stood up frantically and rushed to the toilet. However, the moment I had my feet on the ground, my head began to spin. Vision seemed to lose. Things began to fate. I told myself. I am strong. I felt this way before and I used to had my things done and get hang of myself later on. This time I will be able to do it too. As my stomach continues to ache so badly, I reached out my hand. The toilet switch is just a few . . . . .

. . . . .

Someone is pulling me. Holding my shoulder. I heard my name being called. What happened? I felt pain on my teeth. I looked. I saw my mum. I reached my hand and touched my teeth. There was blood. I sat up. My mum kept on asking if I was alright. Yes I am. Don’t worry. Then I stood up and rushed for the basin. I washed my mouth, gaggled out the blood on my teeth.

It was a terrible one. I think. I hit myself on the washing machine. My neck got twisted. My lips got swollen  so badly; as sexy as the thick lips baybeh. Except that mine had red polka dots all over the upper lips. Plus, my neck hurts!!! *ouch!*

This morning when I woke up, the swelling got worst while my neck ached like it never did. As I walked around the office, it felt like my head’s gonna fell off my neck any moment; while going like the bouncing-head-dolls. Need accessories to put in your car? Maybe I could be one until my neck-pain goes away.

*ouch!*

Phobia.

.LOVEout

darkest moment

Do even black magic still exist?
I’ve heard many stories from people; happened to those not related to me, some to relatives of my friends. And now, to one of my bestest friends; she and her bf. What shocked me most is that, it’s her mum who have did this to her.

Her relationship had been for more than 5years. I’ve seen her crying happy tears over the joy-est moment to her down most period. And it crashes just like that. My heart just stopped beating that instant. Shocked. Blanked out for a moment. Do not know what to say. I thought it was a normal break up due to objection from her mum. Not till her bf told me this. I was wrong. It was not. She constantly forgets her moments with him. Her head aches so much whenever she tries to fight it. Whenever she tries to keep her memories in the deepest part of her brain where she could locked it so noone and nothing could touch it.

I know she wouldn’t want their memories to fate away. Not this way. Or any other way. My heart ached by just listening to his words.

I might not know how deep her love for him. But I know she does love him. I know her love for him is real. Am truly heart broken with what her mum had done. I know it’s not for me to judge. I am an outsider in this part of the story. But this is what I felt. I couldn’t help blaming her mum for all this tragedy. Because I could feel how much it had hurt them both and how his heart has shattered into million pieces as he sees her losing their memories. Memories when they were together through joy and laughter; and through tears and pain.

So, he rather gave up the relationship than to see her suffering. He said she happy now. Is she even enjoying her day like nothing had happened? I doubt so. She must have been suffering whether he gave her up or not. But at least if he gave her up now, she would have get that most tiny bit of chance to keep the remaining memories at the corner of her heart; safe and sound.

It feels as if I am watching a movie now. But it is NOT. It would have been better if it WAS. I am hoping that it IS.

This is too much for anyone to handle. Even as I am writing this, my heart aches so much. I do not know how I could help them. I am feeling so useless now.

Could God do something to stop this? Please?
I couldn’t stand seeing a couple going through this kind of pain. Yet, I’m seeing my closest friends fighting through this.

H.E.L.P

P.L.E.A.S.E

.LOVEshouldWIN

happy Diwali

Happy Deepavali to all!!!

Light wishes.

.LOVEout

breaking the habit

(adapted from) Malays must discard siege mentality, says Khairy

He said while Malay rights and privileges were important, Umno and the Malays must move away from a defensive setting where they think their rights are under threat.
“Malays should equip themselves with their own civilisational confidence, that is, confidence in their own cultural ability to face the future,” he said.

Yes!!
That is where our community will start to march forward. Stepping out from their comfort zone and begin the race. A healthy competition to make the country we’re living in, a better place.

Saying is just as easy.
This is where questions will start to rise. How are we going to make it happen? Are we willing to do what he had yearns us to?
Most important question of all, are we even listening to him?

I’ll leave this for all of you to think.

.LOVEout

adapting

People say we must go with the flow. When people wears skinny jeans, we wear skinny jeans. When people wears polkadot shirts, we wear polkadot shirts.

But,
What if women starts to smoke, do every single women need to smoke? (Am not trying to discriminate anyone here. I used to puff some myself and not that I’m proud of it) What if people starts to eat cockroaches, do every single person need to consume it? (Don’t goes “wth this fella is talking about???” because I knew you all already did. Just an example here)

What I am trying to say here is,
Adapting is NOT doing everything everybody is doing (well, except if you want to), but to accept what people around you are doing. So, adapting is ‘Accepting’ and ‘Living with it’ regardless whether you are doing it or not.

I am adapting and living my life, my own way. ^^

.LOVEout